Help desk realities – Fun Facts

November 10, 2007 12 Comments

Help desk realities

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO
MUCH……FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK:

1). Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the
Open Desktop.”

Customer “Ok.”

Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”

Customer: “No.”

Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a
pop-up menu?”

Customer “No.”

Tech Support:: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have
done up until this point?”

Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I
wrote ‘click’.”

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2) Customer: “I received the software update you sent,
but I am still getting the same error message.”

Tech Support:: “Did you install the update?”

Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get
it to work?”

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3).Customer:: “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft
Word.”

Tech Support:: “Tell me what you’ve done.”

Customer: “I typed ‘A:SETUP’.”

Tech Support:: “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me
what it says.”

Customer:: “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and
Recovery disk’.”

Tech Support:: “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”

Customer:: “What?”

Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”

Customer: “No…”

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4).Customer:: “Do I need a computer to use your
software?”

Tech Support:: ?!%#$

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5).Tech Support:: “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of
the screen, canyou see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”

Customer: “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”

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6) Tech Support:: “What type of computer do you have?”

Customer:: “A white one.”

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7). Tech Support:: “Type ‘A:’ at the prompt.”

Customer:: “How do you spell that?”

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8). Tech Support: “What’s on your screen right now?”

Customer: “A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me
at the grocery store.”

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9). Tech Support:: “What operating system are you
running?”

Customer: “Pentium.”

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10). Customer: “My computer’s telling me I performed
an illegal abortion.”

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11).Customer: “I have Microsoft Exploder.”

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12).Customer: “How do I print my voicemail?”

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13). Customer: “You’ve got to fix my computer. I
urgently need to print document, but the computer
won’t boot properly.”

Tech Support: “What does it say?”

Customer: “Something about an error and non-system
disk.”

Tech Support: “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy
inside?”

Customer: “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an
Intel inside.”

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14). Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a
problem. We’re open 24 hours.”

Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”

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15). Tech Support:: “What does the screen say now?”

Customer: “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”

Tech Support:: “Well?”

Customer: “How do I know when it’s ready?”

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16). A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech
support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What’s the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: You’ll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don’t! I just need to change the startup
files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You’ll need to
replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to
change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I
need is for you to tell me the command.

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is
right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don’t normally tell our customers
this, but there is an undocumented DOS command
that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of
the CONFIG.SYS.

Letme know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User: It didn’t work. The power supply is still
smoking.

Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User: MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech: That’s your problem there. That version of DOS
didn’t come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and
ask them for a patch that will give you
the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User: I need a new power supply.

Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what
you said, and he started asking questions about the
make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn’t compatible
with NOSMOKE.

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17) customer care officer:I need a product
identification no: right
now and may I help u in finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find ‘My
Computer’?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find
your computer?

at 9:06 AM 0 comments

Facts, Fun, Humor